A couple of days ago I received a job offer. A headhunter from the UK thought I would be a good fit for a position paying 70k plus benefits and a brand new car. The vacancy was a perfectly logical consequence to my previous work experience.
It would connect the experience I had in the corporate world with the responsibility and flexibility I had in my latest job. But there was one thing the headhunter did not know.
I am not my CV.
My CV is based on acquired certificates and based on so called “facts” about my life. It does not reflect my hopes, dreams nor talents.
It does not show that every time I went to the library to write my Bachelor Thesis about “Change Management in IT Consulting”, I would allow myself to borrow one book for myself and that the books I chose were without exeption art history books and autobiographies of my favorite painters.
It also does not show that I chose a minimalist-oriented lifestyle that allows me to save as much money as possible just to spend it on my passions camera equipment and travels.
And finally, it does not show that feeling in my chest every time I see corporate people in suits. Or that I have fallen into depression several times during my “career” because I did not find any satisfaction, meaning, or joy in my work.
I am not blaming the headhunter. He was just doing his job. And after a bit back and forth he still wanted me for the job and I wrote him this message:
I appreciate your persistence. However, I am not the right girl for the position this time. When my heart is just not in it there is no need to put me on the shortlist of candidates.
It´s a privilege to have the freedom to say no to such a position.
All the best to your client and your search.
I hope you love what you do.
Have a great weekend!
So, the past weeks I have been busy writing on my other blog “the stories I see 2014” which is part of my extreme lifestyle project. Another reason for me not writing here is because I have tried to get used to my new Berlin lifestyle.
Getting used to stuff is something I am not very good at. I am not sure if that´s a good or a bad thing. For me getting used to something has a bitter taste… People can get used to the most horrible things. Getting used to being mis-treated, being poor, fat, alone… Of course getting used to a new situation or behaviour is not always something negative. You could get used to eating healthier or exercising on a regular basis. But what I am talking about is more this negative kind of getting used to something. For me getting used to something basically means to stop asking questions. You get used to something when you stop fighting against something and give up.
Just imagine having a big hole in your ceiling… A big inconvenience. But I bet after a couple of weeks you just kind of get used to it and stop worrying about the hole and just work your way around it.
Many couples complain about not being “seen” by the other anymore after a certain period of time. They have gotten so used to being around each other and spending time with each other, that they don´t even value their presence anymore.
I have a hard time getting used to stuff. Often I can´t stop to ask questions. Instead of getting used to the flawed situation I am in I am trying to find solutions to change the situation and kit the flaws. Could I worry less? Definitely: Yes. But do I want to worry less…?
As Steve Jobs said: Stay hungry – stay foolish.