Do you like to sleep in? Here is why I stopped that habit.

Monday. It´s all about priorities. I am repeating the same task over and over again and hope some day it will stick.

I keep on asking myself the same questions:

Is it what I really want?

Does it serve me and the vision of my life?

By answering these questions I am able to filter out all the distractions from my life. It allows me to let people, situations, fights and many other things go without ever looking back. I am practicing to ask these questions as often as possible. And from my experience there is always a clear answer inside of myself. My inner voice – what most people would call intuition or gut feeling – gets stronger every day. All I have to do is to listen.

I would like to give you two examples of things that don´t serve me.

Sleeping in. I know sleeping into days can be tempting. Pressing the “Snooze” button on my alarm sometimes happens without me even noticing. And suddenly it´s 10 or even 12 at noon! Sure, sleeping in and being lazy is lovely sometimes. But mostly it makes me feel like I wasted half a day. And usually when I slept until noon it gets really hard for me to get going and to have a productive day. I guess I am somewhat of a morning person. Thus, I realized there is no point in it for me. Sleeping in is cancelled – for the most part.

Getting drunk. Yes, everybody who was there at my birthday party last weekend will think “oh yes, now she has one of these *i´ll never drink again* moments”… And yeah, I have to admit. I was very drunk. And it was a lot of fun. However, I generally dislike getting drunk. It´s not only the evening that usually ends strangely. It´s also the next two days that feel unproductive and like hangover hell. The reason for not liking drunky-leska is similar to sleepin in. I feel like I am missing out on a lot of fun stuff I could be doing the following days. AND I can feel the poison in my body. Why would I do this to myself? Getting drunk – cancelled – (for the most part).

Now you might think: OMG, being focused sounds like a lot of work. And not like FUN. I don´t even feel like I am giving up on anything because the gain outweighs the couple of hours of sleep and glasses of wine by the thousand!

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Email from Berlin

Friday afternoon.
I just got into a comfortable position next to the swimming pool when my phone vibrates. The display shows an email from Berlin – or let´s call it my soon-to-be reality there.

The email reads: “Dear students, we will meet on monday at 10am. Please bring along a small portfolio or some photographs (printed out) representing your work. I am looking forward to seeing you.”

Wow. I had almost forgotten. I was accepted to photography school! And now there is no turning back. (Well, actually there is since it´s a private school and I can basically do whatever. But for dramatic purposes – let´s say there is no turning back. Decision made.)

So there I am. Sitting next to a swimming pool in Portugal, all worn out from today´s strong current and hundreds of waves clashing against my body. I smile. I get excited. And then nervous.

A part of the email is echoing in my head…”Bring along a small portfolio representing your work”. Do I even have something to show them? What will the others show? Do they have experience? What kind of photography are they interested in? What if they ask me what kind of photography I am interested in? Darn it – what am I interested in? Do I even have a real portfolio or just a bunch of pretty pictures? Is there a meaning behind my pictures or was I just lucky in pressing a button at the right moment? Enough!

I push the thoughts aside and decide to wait until monday when I´ll get to experience it for myself.